When the Ticket and the Trip Do Not Agree
A colleague and I recently traveled to Cleveland for work. Preparing for my trip, I frantically searched emails to find my travel itinerary because I knew I had a lot to accomplish. The trip would have me on a tight schedule and I wanted to ensure that everything went as planned. When I found the email, I was instantly vexed at the person who so thoughtlessly booked my flight. Anyone who knows basic geography knows that Cleveland is northwest of DC--374 miles northwest to be exact. Enter Atlanta, a city 629 miles south of DC. My itinerary had me going to Atlanta, 629 miles out of the way, only to retrace those same miles to go back past where my journey originally began and then on to my final destination. I traveled 1,183 miles for what could have been a 374 mile trip. Seems logical, right?
Growing up, we were taught to plan for the future that we wanted. We mapped our lives and constructed a strategic game plan that included education and resources that would get us to an expected end, usually in the shortest time possible and in a way that was not physically and/or emotionally exhaustive. In fact, we even had a game about it. The Game of Life, also known simply as Life, a board game originally created in 1860 by Milton Bradley. It was America's first popular parlor game and simulated a person's travels through his or her life, from college to retirement, with jobs, marriage, and possible children along the way. It presumably walked us through all the ups and downs of growing up. Feeling relatively confident that I have a good grip on the intricacies of life’s ups and downs, I can say with great certainty that the game failed me. Miserably.
Life is not a game. While we try our best to work hard, set goals, and chart out a direct course of action for our lives, it is inevitable that, at some point, things will go awry. Setbacks in life have the potential to shake us to our core, causing us to become frustrated, frantic, and fearful. When life manifests actions that seem illogical and out of line with our expectations there are three things to remember:
1. Height Increases View
First Lady Michelle Obama said it best, “When they go low, we go high.” The higher your physical elevation, the more you are able to see. When life goes low, the best way to get back on track is to elevate your mind to your personal high place. Only when you view your situation from aerial point of view can you thoroughly assess the situation from every angle. Rather than focus on the issue that has seemingly ripped your life apart, focus on lessons learned, how you will adapt, and how to maintain momentum and remain productive.
2. “Every Shut Eye Ain’t Sleep and Every Goodbye Ain’t Gone”
Don’t panic. Just because life did not go the way you planned does not mean that life will not find that way that you planned. Delay must not be mistaken for denial. When ducks swim, it looks as if they are serenely gliding across the water. Look underwater, however, and you'll see that those little feet are moving vigorously in order to move them along. Even when it looks as though nothing is happening, if you continue to put in the work, you have no choice but to see results.
3. Don’t Ask Why. Ask What.
When the unexpected happens, it can be devastating. Vulnerability and uncertainty take over and we immediately begin to ask ourselves, “Why?” Why did this happen to me? Why didn’t I see this coming? Asking a “why” only causes you to give time and space to glorifying the problem. And the answer is almost always one that paints you in a negative light. Instead, give time and space to the solution and ask yourself, “What?” What can I do to avoid this again in the future? What has this experience taught me? Take time to answer the “what” and you’ll find that you end up with some very useful information to get you where you want to be.
No matter what airline you fly, just before the plane lands, the pilot makes two guaranteed statements. You are welcomed to whatever city you are in and you are also told that if you are going on to another city, either remain onboard or check the monitors at the gate. Where ever you are on life’s journey, remember only you decide when you have reached your final destination. Until that point, everything else you experience is merely a layover.
